Thursday, February 9, 2017

What is the good?



I’m going to be one “those” people today. The one who posts on Facebook, “Worst. Day. Ever!” But then never actually tells you what happened when you ask. I’m going to be super vague and share that I had a flashback of a childhood memory over the weekend but I’m not ready to share what that memory was, and honestly I don’t know that I ever will. So, yeah, I’m going to be that chick.

However, I’m not going to be that chick because I’m seeking attention. Rather as a way to say that while I know I have a long journey ahead of me to heal from the memory, I also discovered what a fucking rock star my husband is. Yeah, I said it. A fucking rock star. Because while I was an emotional puddle in the kitchen (again in the kitchen…what is it about that room?), he was my emotional rock.

His recovery has amplified his listening skills and his ability to empathize to such amazing levels, I am truly astounded. And blessed. Not only did he hold my hands, wipe my tears, and listen while I wept and shared my memory; he offered words of wisdom and insight too. Things he’s learned from his own recovery.

For me, it was another reminder of why I stayed with him through all the turmoil of his sex addiction. His recovery, my recovery, and our recovery together was what made this weekend’s discovery a bit easier to navigate.

While it’s easy to say, “what good is it?” because whenever I think I’m done digging through the muck of my traumatized brain another hurt reveals itself, I’d rather say, “What is the good?” And here it’s definitely my husband. My hero. Because this time, I have him here to lean on while I process through all of my emotions. I know I don’t have to go through this hurt alone. How cool is that?

 Who's your hero? Do you know someone on Facebook who posts something dramatic but never tells you what's actually wrong?

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

I Guess I Really Do Have Free Time - IWSG Post


 

I hope when the groundhog pokes his head out tomorrow he won’t see his shadow so spring will be on its way. I’m tired of the cold. Hubby on the other hand wants it to stay chilly. On the plus side, it is the first Wednesday of February and that means it’s time once again for the Insecure Writer's Support Group.



The last few weeks have been touch and go on my writing. I’ve been writing, but not doing much for my books. I’ve been writing more for my program and a bit for the groups I volunteer for.  Add in work and migraines and that doesn’t leave much time for my novels.  I’m not worried though. Again, no deadlines in my world. I write because I like to, not because I have to.



The question of the month is: How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader?



I wish I could be profound and say something like, “Well, I find that characters don’t have enough depth.” Or, “I figured out the twist in the plot one quarter of the way through the book.”



But really, the biggest change has been my decrease in time to read for pleasure. The spare time I have, I prefer to write than to read. Sure, I carry books with me. Yes, I’m that person…the one who likes a paperback over a Kindle….but I’m not out and about that often or in long enough spurts to knock out an entire book in one sitting.



And unfortunately, with my migraines, most of my downtime is spent watching mindless television. I joke about reality TV but the reason I watch it is because it takes zero effort to understand it when I’m in pain.



My biggest change the last several months has been a direct result of what happened with my youngest child last summer.  In an effort to help them get through the bouts of depression and to help manage the anxiety, I’ve read several books on PTSD (who would’ve thought the person who wrote a book on Relational Trauma would now be reading even more books on PTSD for teens?) 



This has proved to me that if I want to make the time to read for pleasure, I can. That I really do have free time. It’s a matter of shifting my priorities around and figuring out what’s more important? Writing, reading, blogging, etc.



What about you? Are you hoping the groundhog doesn’t see his shadow so spring is on its way? How has being a writer changed your experience as a reader?



Scheduling Note: I’m working today so I’ll be by to visit either this afternoon or tomorrow. Happy IWSGing!

This has been a post for the Insecure Writer's Support Group. It's a chance to talk about our fears and doubts, or inspire others by sharing our success and happiness.  We’ve got a great bunch of people in this group and we’d love to have you join in on the fun too.  A big thank you to it's creator, Alex J. Cavanaugh.
 
Don’t forget to stop by and say hello to our fantastic co-hosts: Misha Gericke, LK Hill, Juneta Key, Christy and Joylene Buter.

And a thank you to: sitehoundsniffs.com for their kind shout out to my blog. Muchly appreciated.