Monday, December 14, 2015

Better Than Tinfoil

from Google somewhere
My counselor scribbled something in her steno pad before she asked me, “Do you have any plans in place in case you start to trigger?”

I shook my head. “Not really. I’ve been reading my S-Anon literature and even been reading the Big Book but aside from a bad dream a couple of nights ago, I’ve been doing really good. It's hard to believe that time of year is upon us again. Five years since finding out Devin's a sex addict. Time just flew by and I've been doing great lately.”

And I was. Maybe it’s because I expected the worst but hoped for the best. Perhaps it was the passage of time. I’m not sure. But last week when the anniversary of disclosure week was upon us, it was present but it wasn’t present. I really felt good about Devin and I. We were, and still are, on a healthy path. We've been communicating well. We've been sticking to our own recoveries and been working on our marriage and doing things as a couple. Just doing great overall. I can't complain. No. Really. I can't. All really is going well in our corner of the world. (And it's nice not to be in the mindset of waiting for the other shoe to drop - what a nice change from a few years ago, huh, long time readers?)

Devin and I talked about disclosure week before it arrived. I told him to be on the lookout for me being extra sensitive or snarky (who me?). Or if I was withdrawn, don’t be afraid to ask why a few extra times, cause you know us ladies; sometimes we don’t like to answer the first time we’re asked.

There was a moment when I had to take a step back and dive into my recovery work, reflect on where we were rather than where we had been, but when that was finished…maybe thirty minutes…I was right as rain again.

That’s just as it should be too. It’s been five years since that dreaded week that I found out about his sex addiction. That's a long time. I shouldn’t be focused on what happened during that week. I should be focused on how far we’ve come as a couple and the fact we are celebrating ten years of marriage. How awesome is that?

The traditional ten-year gift is tin. Does that mean we should’ve exchanged tinfoil? I’m thinking no. Instead, we decided to look at Christmas lights. It was beautiful. Much better than tinfoil. 

How about you? Have you done anything holiday related yet?